The Greatest Gift You Can Send a Friend: Send Vibes, Not Flowers.
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It started, as all bad decisions and great stories do, at the pub.
Three of us, one bottle of white, arguing over whether it’s ever acceptable to text your avoidant ex “Happy Birthday” (it’s not, by the way).
Somewhere between the crisps and the unsolicited life advice, my friend drops this into conversation:
“I’ve never actually used a vibrator.”
I thought she was joking.
She wasn’t.
I blinked.
She sipped her drink.
The third friend looked like she’d just witnessed a crime.
It wasn’t even judgment, it was genuine confusion — like hearing someone say they’ve never seen Shrek or don’t believe in oat milk.
The modern friendship emergency
Within seconds, we’d gone into full crisis mode.
Someone grabbed her phone and started typing “best beginner vibrator UK”.
Someone else offered to “research” it personally.
I was already mentally composing the gift note.
Because really - what are friends for, if not to lovingly intervene when someone’s been accidentally living like it’s the 1950s?
There was a time when sending your friend flowers or a candle was enough.
But that time has passed.
We are grown women.
We pay rent, buy oat milk that costs £3.50, and occasionally spiral over men who own ring lights.
If anyone deserves something that vibrates at seven speeds, it’s us.
The gift that keeps on giving (literally)
So I sent her one.
No warning, no message - just a discreet little box from BuzzMe arriving at her door two days later.
Wrapped like a birthday present, powered like a Tesla.
The next morning, I woke up to a text that simply said:
“You are a hero. I’ve seen the light.”
You’re welcome, babe.
Honestly, it might be my greatest act of friendship to date.
Better than lending someone a dress.
Better than listening to them overanalyse a voice note.
Better than pretending to like their situationship named “Ben”.
Why we’re done with boring gifts
We’ve all sent the safe stuff — the “hope this candle helps your soul” gifts, the “cheer up queen” Prosecco, the £25 Deliveroo voucher that disappears faster than your will to live on a Monday.
But a vibrator?
That’s a gift that says “I see you, I love you, and you deserve better than Steve from Hinge.”
It’s funny, it’s thoughtful, and unlike flowers, it won’t die in four days.
I’m genuinely starting to think vibrator gifting should be a love language.
Imagine a world where instead of pity flowers after a breakup, your friends just send you a BuzzMe box with a card that says:
“He wasn’t your vibe. This is.”
A friendship revolution
So now, whenever someone in the group chat admits they’ve never tried one, we don’t gasp anymore.
We just quietly send them a gift from buzzme.club and wait for enlightenment to strike.
Let’s keep doing God’s work one discreet pink parcel at a time.
Moral of the story:
If you find out your mate’s never used a vibrator, don’t judge her.
Just send her one.
And when she inevitably texts “why didn’t anyone tell me sooner?” - just smile and sip your drink.
Sending your mate a vibrator might just be the new love language.